Is that destiny

I have been trying to get work...oops...not get but start working for the past four and a half months. Siddharth was two months old then and now he is seven and half. My maternity break seems to be going on forever.

The project I was initially supposed to join did not get the green signal. I kept my spirit and enthusiasm going and managed to get another good opportunity. I was all excited and happy with this new opportunity. It was an opportunity of a lifetime...an opportunity to work with social entrepreneurs...help them develop their monitoring and evaluation systems. I couldn't wait to start. To add to this...my timings were flexible...I had the option of working from home too...I could now work as well as be there for my children...what more could an career oriented mother ask for.

But...alas...I guess destiny was not by my side. As my joining date neared, the maid that I had just begun to trust started showing me a different side of herself, driving me to chuck her out. Now I had no one to look after my children while I would work.

My employers were very understanding and we postponed my joining date by a month. However, I wasn't very lucky this time too making me request a change in the joining date once again.

My employers wanted me to facilitate a workshop even if I couldn't join immediately and I agreed. I made all the arrangements at home while I would be away for the workshop. We scheduled the workshop on a weekend...so that my husband would be there at home to look after my children. I asked my parents to come over to help my husband. But once again...I faced disappointment... the terrorist attacks in Mumbai and resulting cancellations by the participants were the cause of this disappointment.

Am I destined to not work? Or is the time simply not right? Or is my decision to work - a wrong one? Should I simply take this year off and spend time looking after my children?

My employers seem to be willing to wait even now. I feel very guilty that I have kept them waiting for so long. I have told them that I will start working from January. I will initially work for half a day every Saturday and as things settle down on my home front, I will increase my time. I have also suggested that in case we plan something for an entire week - I will call my parents to look after my children.

Hope this time...nothing goes against me and my decision. Hope this time...destiny favours me working.