why???

I have been wondering as to why certain things happen in life? Certain incidents - small and big that have happened in my life, very often due to my forgetfullness...

The other day, I lost my house keys. I had just dropped my son at the playschool and decided to walk back home. On my way, the strap of my purse broke lose and my purse fell down. I picked up my purse and without even thinking of checking whether the keys were in place, I walked away. I shopped for fruits and some drawing books for my son on my way. It was only when I was about fifty yards away from home, did I realize that the keys were missing.

Usually, I am very careful about the keys and ensure that I carry them whenever I go out. I am petrified of losing them and hence frequently scan my purse to ensure that they are safe, waiting for me to use them to open the door when I return back.

Did I lose the keys when my purse fell down? Why did I not check for any dropped belongings when I picked up the purse? or did I drop it sometime when I was shopping?

Later, I did check the shops I went to as well as the place where I had dropped the purse, but in vain. What baffled me was the fact that I had no memory of dropping the keys or of leaving them in any shop.

Is this sheer forgetfulness or did the world conspire against me as I was destined to lose the keys?

It's cold in Mumbai...are u joking!!!

9.4 degrees - that was the temperature yesterday.

This is not a joke...its true...After about fifty years Mumbai...a city which never experiences winter is witnessing a cold wave.

And me, like most Mumbaites is ill prepared. My son has only one sweater. There are just two pairs of socks which he uses on alternate days. I have just one light sweater and a shawl. My husband who is used to wearing only shorts at home, did not have track pants until yesterday. There is only one blanket, which is shared between me and my family.

I am not used to the cold at all and hence feel sick all the time. I have a sore throat and keep coughing through out the day. The nights are worse. I irritation in my throat increases at night thus giving me sleepless nights. The mosquitoes add to my sleeplessness as they prefer my house to the chilly outdoors.

If god grants me a wish...I would wish for the cold wave to pass by. I would wish for some warmth in my life...

The selfish me!!!

Do I have the right to decide the fate of the life of somebody else, even if that someone else is not a human being but an innocent animal?

This question arose in my mind a few years ago when we got our cats – Domino and Cleo sterilized. It arose once again when Bono my dog came on heat. A third time when it was time to get Chini (Cat) fixed and now that Begam (cat) is facing the same experience, I yet again have to deal with this question.

How would I feel, if someone else decided whether I could get pregnant? The thought of letting someone else take decisions about my life itself makes my blood boil. If I feel this way, why do I become a hypocrite and decide for my pets?

I did convince myself with the logic that this is the right thing to do. I will not be able to take care of the many kittens or the pups that my cats and dogs would deliver. Where is the money, where is the space and most important – where is the time? Nor will the civic authorities approve. They will probably force me to 'fix' my pets.

Nevertheless, at the same time, I know I am being selfish. Now, they will never know what it means to become a mother.

My two and a half year old

Terrible twos say some

Some others call this age the terrific twos

When I think about my child, I think my child displays a little of both the behaviours.

He is such a darling at times and at times I could tear my hair apart trying to understand what goes on in his head.

The other day, when he saw that I was ill, he held my face in his hands and said, "aai tu lavkar bari ho. Tuza doka chepun deu?". (Mama do get well soon. Should I massage your head?).

And just today, he drove me crazy with his tantrums, caused for reasons known only to him. I initially thought, "it must be the cough and cold." After a while, I wondered whether he was bored as he had not gone to his playschool. I initially tried to get him involved in interesting activities. But then neither his favorite building blocks soothed him, nor did his drawing books. He did not want to listen to stories and did not want anything to eat.

Finally, I just gave up, saying adu, "I cannot help you." I ignored him completely and engaged myself in household chores, while he sat crying in the other room.

A few minutes later, I guess, he realized that he was not going to get any attention from me. Suddenly, his mood changed, he came running to me and said, "aai me help karu?" (Mama should I help you).

I knew he was back to being his terrific self and quickly hugged him and planted many kisses on his face. He gave me a mischeivous smile and said, "aai building blocks kheluya?" (Mama, should we play with the building blocks?)

Being a mother can be very tiring and at the same time very joyful. Along with Adu, even I have adjusted to feeling terrible at one moment and feeling terrific at the very next moment.

Entered the world of blogs...finally

"Start writing blogs", said my husband. "It will help you. You need to vomit all those thoughts pent up in you. Blogging is the best"

As usual I was reluctant. Actually I was lazy. But now I have decided...A few lines everyday. They will just take some of the ample time that I have...

Maybe I will like writing. Maybe I will get addicted. I cannot say now.

So, everyone...wish me luck...I hope I can succeed and keep writing as long as there are thoughts, ideas and emotions in me...